I'm not "too" anything

As per usual in my life, I have been re-watching How I Met Your Mother from the start. ( yes this is something I do on the regular, and no I’m not ashamed of this). As much as I know that Ted is the absolute WORST human in the world, sometimes the writers give him lines that sit well with me. And every time I do a re-watch I feel like there is something new that sticks with me.

The most recent episode was in the 3-Day Rule episode in season 4. Where Ted meets a girl who gives him her number. Barney tells Ted he needs to wait 3 days before calling her. Ted doesn’t listen and Text messages the girl- Only to find out Barney and Marshall have switched the number and had been texting him in hopes to get him to say any of the stupid stuff he normally does to them before he says them to her. They spend a lot of time talking about how Ted’s dating style is over the top and he jumps into things too fast ( which is all true- but it is who Ted is… )

At the end Ted Says this:

   “And, yeah, maybe there are some girls who wouldn't like it that I called them right away or said things too soon, but guess what? Those aren't the right girls for me.

Maybe the right girl is the one who loves that I do those things because that's just who I am,”

I know I have heard the quote a million times because I’ve seen the episode at least a million times. But last night it really sat with me.

Especially since the other day I had a conversation with a person who I’ve had some ups and downs with about a miscommunication that happened when I was drunk. So basically  I was kind of in a shitty place mentally. Which let me tell yah is NOT how I wanted to mentally spend my birthday. But I guess shit happens. A lot of the conversation made me feel like I am just too much. I have always know that I’m difficult to deal with at times. I’m quirky, I’m constantly anxious and I go through cycles of depression. I’m also loud, I love to gossip and can be petty as fuck. If I like someone I constantly show my appreciation for them to make sure they know they are loved. I also fight just as hard as I love and I’m not going to back down and not speak my mind.

When I heard that HIMYM quote for the millionth and one time it really hit home. Maybe I am a lot- but I’m not “too much” Maybe I seem like a lot to some people because they aren’t the right amount of enough for me. I’m not going to change who I am because it doesn’t align well with you. I’m not going to stop leaning on my friends when I’m hurt and upset because you are afraid that it might make you look bad. Will I pick and choose my words and timing more carefully- Yes- but I’m never going to change.

And I shouldn’t have to- because if things about me are “too much” for you, then I’m going to pass and wait for the person who thinks I’m exactly right.